Who are these Massholes??

You ah probably wonderin': who the hell are these freakin' Massholes? We love the Pats, the Sox, the Bruins, the Celts; and we hate the Revolution. Seriously, who freakin' watches men's soccah? Women's soccah is a different story and that Chastain broad is hot, but othahwise soccah is non-Masshole "Sport". We love to drink beeahs and watch sports. As a general concensus, Coors Lite and Bud Lite ah the best beeahs, and the Sox and the Pats ah the best teams, Irocs and Buick Skylahks ah the best cahs, and Aerosmith is the best band. The induhvidual Massholes ah as follows:

L'il Squeaky: L'il Squeaky, or just plain Squeak, is the "webmastah" of this ridonculous intanet site. Howevah, he wehk's closely with Big Blue of Medfield fame. Unfortunately his real job requires him to wehk a little too much with computahs and makes him travel way the freak too much outside of the 495 beltway for his tastes (to ungodly places like New Yahk and San Francisco where he learns how much non-Massholes really do suck). He grew up in the greatest Masshole town of all: Nahwood.

Big Blue: Big Blue aquired his "Nick-name" cause he played basketball in Big Blue country (Medfield, the home of boxin' great Petah McNeely). He played football there too. He too wehks a lot with computahs and puts in some time with this here intanet site.

Frenchie: Frenchie is a little too French for most Massholes, but he too grew up in Medfield and cannot be blamed for his heritage. He was not directly responsible for the Maginot line nor the Vichy Government, so leave him alone.

Booze: Booze recieved his name as he drinks more alcohol in one day than some small countries. Beeah stocks plummeted to their lowest prices since the staht of WWII when he went clean and sobah for a week. For the sake of our national economy he stahted drinkin' again. Booze is also a native Medfield person.


Cheesedog: Cheesedog, or alternatively the "Petit chien de fromage" wants to be a lawyah just like that Ally McLawyahBroad. She has moved Chaahlztown, but due to the code of silence she took, is not allowed to discuss it. She is the girlfriend of Big Blue, but is often ashamed to admit it. She is a Masshole by birth, but was exiled to New Jersey until she was allowed to return to Boston for her highah education 5 yeahs ago. She managed to stay here by bein' accepted to lawyah school. She is now a full Masshole citizen again as she now has a Massachusetts license.

Teachah: Teachah is not a Masshole by birth, but migrated here for her highah education just like Cheesedog. She recently gained her Masshole citizenship when she registered her cah here and recieved a Massachusetts plate and drivah's license. She is well aware of the fact that she can't get there from here. Teachah, the girlfriend de Frenchie, is a 4th grade teachah, and is responsible for shapin' and moldin' the lives of our youth.


Go back to the masshole home page.