Sports

Update 06/19/06: from 06/2006: Right, so we haven’t updated the sport’s section in about 6 yeahs. In that time, this intahnet thing went from being mostly $2 porn to being a high class hookah from Fall Rivah. Now all these eejits all ovah the web got blogs. Well, Big Blue has blog-ass. And little Squeaky claims that he recently recovahed from a tramatic case of blog-balls. What an ahdeal!

Damn, anyway, this is the closest we ah gonna come to a blog. We get sauced and write stupid shiznits. all of the italics ah what we wrote in 1998. since then , things have changed, our lackof sobriety has not.

from 1998 - Brothah, Sports ah biggah than life. Believe you me. Alls I wants to do is freakin' watch the Pats. Man, Drew Bledsoe and Doug Flutie ah the cat's ass. Howevah, we ain't had time to do the sports page yet. Here ah a couple of sports links, but we will eventually have sports coverage of our own.

Tha Pats, Brotha: from 1998: The Patriots ah still freakin' great even though Pete Carroll couldn't coach a Pop Wahnah team. We really miss the Tuna, despite the fact that he is a traitah.

from 06/2006: o.k., so pete carrol might be able to coach a pop wahnah team, but only if cahson palmah or matt line-aht ah at quatahback. See USC for livin proof. Still though, we’ll take bellichick and the deity that is tom brady ovah that west coast pooftah anyday. Honestly, my ma once ran ovah pete carrol with her ’87 skylahk when she was cahpoolin’ Punchy and Stubby McNeely to Peewee hockey back in 1985. Damn, to this day we bet petey carroll wakes up in a cacoon-o-horrah of mrs. Big-blue running him down in that ’86 skylahk.

Speakin’ of peeweehs. Did flutie just retire? Didn’t he just staht playin’ in the NFL 3 seasons ago? Wheah the frick has all the time gone? Dude, how bout that drop kick? I tell ya, big blue once dropped kicked a dwarf right after the UN made it illegal. We ended up with Boutros-Boutros Galli and Kofi Anan leading inquiries up our arse. They found what they were lookin’ fah and a couple of hamstahs they weren’t. (oh, and what of your favorite logs has Boutros-Boutros-Boutros-Boutros, Kofi-Kabob, Kool-Aid Pitcha-Guy, Petah McNeely, and Ray Nitschke all in one place??)

Boston Celtics: from 1998 - Bettah known as the Celts. The best team of the 80's is just restin' right now and will be a force some time soon. Come on, Pierce is wicked awesome!

from 06/2006L Bruins suck. Celtics suck. God save and protect Len Bias.

Red Sox: from 1998 - Nevah talk about Bucknah and 1986. Also, 1918 was the best year in Boston history. What sucks is that every year the Sox tear the freakin' covah off the ball in April, hold on t'il the All Stah break, and then fall apaht. Come Septembah they decide to try again and make a run fah it, get the wild cahd spot, and then fail in the first games of the playoffs. Every year. Some day they will make it, just not in our life time.

from 06/2006: Oh, and speakin of the Red Sox. Big Blue and Lil Squeak ah watchin’ the Yanks get beat by Philly (Philly: ya know, it’s a baby New Yahk with a lot o’culture) and the Sox beat the Expos. I mean Nationals. Since we last wrote this: The Sox won the world series, Kristy Yamaguchi is skating in Hades (cause Hell froze ovah yak frickin’ moron), Pats won 3 supahbowls, and Booze is getting married (to a woman). The ovah-undah on the number of monkeys flying out of Frenchie’s rear-frencher is currently 4. Wow have things changed. Where have all the Anna Kournakova’s gone?

Tha Broons: from 1998 The Bruins used to be the best team in hockey and it was wicked fun watchin' them at the Gahden. The Broons at the Fleet Centah just ain't the same.

from 06/2006: Bruins suck. Celtics suck. God bless Len Bias.

Blog done. Getting beer.




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