Our guess is that you've
probably had five ah six beeahs by now. If not, what are ya some
kind a Donkey? Get em' crackin' bratha and let us tell you a little about
the idea behind masshole.com.
You see, we was drinkin one night,
Budwiesahs of course. And we decided that this intanet thing sucks,
dude. There ain't nothin but candy-ass computah nehd sites and "file
not Found's". That sucks, dude.
So this is what we plan to do to fix this unholy donkey of an electronic medium.
If you ah a repeat visitah here, great, but realize that we rarely
change our content here. Why? Cause we ah lazy, usually drinkin' and really hate the intanet.
We simply do it to spice up the lives of those people who go online. So as far as complaints go,
we don't wanna hear jack monkey puddin' from ya unless you take our survey (link on the left).
Ah you a non-Masshole just visitin' this site to see what massholes ah like? Well, first, we ah by
far and away the coolest people on earth. The rest of the country owes their independence from them
brits to some drunken massholes who didn't want to pay taxes a few hundred years ago.
Stuff Allowed on masshole.com:
More talk about the stuff that matters.
You know, like anything in the 495 beltway.
- Hot broads.
- Dunkin Donuts--Dude they have the most wicked pissa Coolattas.
- Review of all bahs that won't cahd too hahd.
- Spoahts--Pete Carroll's a donkey so is that freakin' Duquette, and Dafoe is a baby.
- BC, UMASS, NothEastern and other hahf-literate univehsity spohts
- Divinity of Doug Flutie - can he walk on watah or what?
- Budwiesah and other domestic bee-ahs.
Stuff not allowed on masshole.com:
- Broads' TV shows (like Ally Mc-I-Dont-Eat. What is she a lawyah? come on!)
- Broads' Movies
- Bee-ah not in a can, like that dahk imported crap
- Anything outside of 495
- Especially New Yahk
Patriots' schedule for 2000 and other just released news info:
The Patriots have just exclusively released to masshole.com their schedule for the
2000 season. They also gave us other team information that has not been given to the
general press yet! You gotta check this out! Click HERE
for the press release.
Also, the Sox ah in Spring training, Dudes!! Nomaaah, hit a homaaah!!!!!!!! We gotta tell ya,
Pedro and Nomah ah the cat's ass. This is gonna be the year when we kick the living crap out of the
Yankees. In the last like 30 years or something, the Sox have the winningest record in the
American league. We just need a World Series win, and we at masshole.com think that 2000 is the year!
Also, if you have time today, have a moment of silence for the loss of Ray Bourque. May he win
a Stanley Cup. He gave us all he had. We blame all those Russkies for us not winning the cup.
Want to e-mail us and let us know what else sucks about computahs, and what's wicked
cool about Massholes? Write us a freakin' lettah (see below). Click
HERE to see
what Masshole.com visitahs have had to say so fah.
Visitah numbah since August 1999: [an error occurred while processing this directive]
Before yah go, you interested in advertisin' here?
If you ah a bah ownah in the Boston area, we will give you unlimited advertisin' rights here
if you give the 4 masshole.com creatahs unlimited beeah. You can reach a tahgeted audience of
pure masshole drinkahs at this site!! (This message has been up here for months and no one has
seriously responded to it but someone from the Village Pub in Nahwood. We ah incredibly
disappointed with you peoples. If you were a manager worth a damn you would have contacted us long
ago. Honestly, like 100,000 people have been here. You all suck.)
Write to us.