Some comments we have received so fah
Ok, you Massholes and Masshole wannabes, here is some of the feed back we have received so far. We get on average about 150 emails a week from you donkeys. Almost all ah in praise of the site, but we ah always gonna have them New Yahk losahs writin' to us. If you ah offended by any of them, our advice is to kick the arss of the next New Yahkah you see.Mostly these emails have come from exiled Massholes who had to migrate away to find jobs outside of 128 and 495. Responses have come from Japan, Singapore, and Europe. We nevah heard of these places and had to look them up. For you Massholes who don't know them eithah, just know that you can't get there from here, so don't worry about it.
We had to edit the livin' hell out of these things cause you people ah so foul mouthed (we love it!).
Also, we have to address somethin. Many have been pissed we don't got Sam Adams on ah best beeah list. Listen, Sam Adams isn't even brewed really in Masshole land. Look on any bottle and it is brewed in some othah state that none of us has evah been in. Plus, it's wicked dahk.
- There's finally a site for massholes! you guys kick ass, thanks!
Jill
- Rock on Massholes! This site is wicked pissah! Anyone who isn't a masshole is a gaylord or a queeahbait!
From Jesse.
- This freakin' website kicks ass!! I went to BC (93) and am a damn-proud-card-carrying-masshole. I did my best to convert any and all non-massholes, especially those homo New Yorkers. It was a tough job and I enlisted the help of my best friend, Mr. Bud Weisa', but I was still outcast for speakin' propa'ly and drinkin'way too many beehs (I neva knew there was such a thing as too many). I salute you and your efforts and just want to say "F* NY"...
Oh yeah, and the 86' Mets can go to hell too.
From Chewie.
- I live in NYC and I need to get out of this hell hole. I hatre the Yankees and I would rather take a dump on home plate in Yankee Stadium then sit there and watch an alive Mickey Mantle play. The Jets blow...and they play in New Jersey. I hate the Tuna and Roger Clemens can kiss my white Irish ass. Go B's!!!!!
From Joey Bag of Donuts
- Your site is truly a pissah. It brought me back to my baystatah roots. Like I was sittin heah wehkin whilst tryin not to wehk and surfin around and stuff, an I came across this site. Kinda like I bumped into an old friend on the T.
Me: Hey, Cha-lie, how you doin?"
Cha-lie: "Howaya. I'm doin good. How you doin'?"
Me: "I'm doin' good. And the wife?"
Cha-lie: "She's doin' good. Seen Petie?"
ME: "Ya, I seen Petie last week down to the Fouahs aftah a Broons game."
Cha-lie: "How's he doin."
Me: "He's doin good."
Trolley Conductah: "Pahk Street."
Me: "Okay, there, seeyalatah, Cha-lie."Speekin of surfin. I live in our heah in Cali now and I was down to the shoah the othah day surfin with my buddie. Now I may be from Reveah but I know my waves, ya know. So my buddy and me are tawkin, checkin out the chicks and theah boobs and stuff and this guy ovaheahs me and my buddy and says: "Hey are you fellows from Boston?" I thinks to meself, "Fellows? What kinda pansy ass faggot is this guy heah?" Anyway, we don't say nothin' so the guy staht in on us: "Hey, Mr. Boston, just say "Park the Car in Harvard Yard" one for me, OK?" No me, by this time I'm gettin a little tiffed. But this guy keep comin': C'mon, just once, just say "Park the Car in Harvard Yard." I look at my buddy, and he's a pretty big guy too ya know. So I think what the hell, so what if we get in a beef. So I take the guy by the shirt and sortah pin him down and right in that Cali, pansy-ass, faggots face I says to him, "What ah you f*#@in' retahded or what?" That showed him.
From J.D.
- Any city that closes at 2am must bow down to NYC!!
From the Masked New Yorker.
- What kind of stupid ass site do you run? That has got to be dumbest thing I have ever seen in all my years on the net. God help you.
From Tom
- This is the funniest s@#t on the web! I'm from Texas, but most of my buddies out here in California, and this is so true to form that you guys must truly be.... Massholes!!!
From Nathan
- I love this site. I'm a recently relocated masshole from Jamaica Plain, that got transferred out to Los Angeles (the land of the friggin fruits and nuts). Nobody out here nows how to drink or even to have fun for God's sakes. I like the definitions. Keep em coming.
From JEP
- this is a pretty great site. I wish I knew about it last year. I am the co-president & co-founder of the fire Pete Carroll website. It was live on the internet after the season last year but I had to take it down. All we ever got were posts from people saying that Pete is OK, but it is Bob Kraft & Bobby Grier who are ruining the team. I coulnd't feakin believe it. Now I'm starting to think it was NY Jets fan writing in because not true pats fan likes Pete Carroll.
Anyway, you're site is pretty cool.
From Dave.
- Just that I think your site kicks ass, my friends! I grew up in Eastie and now live in Everett. I laughed so hard I cried!
My personal opinions:
- If you do not have a MA Driver's License (and even that needs to be regulated), you should not be allowed to be behind the wheel in Massachusetts. Period.
- I also happen to think that NY should be "contained" like that movie with Kurt Russell ("Escape From New York"). Drop the tourists over the wall, I say!
- Thanks for making my day with this site.
Keep up the great work. I'm forwarding this site to as many as I can.
From Jenn.
- Hey guys, best site I've seen in a while, thanx for the memories and the laughs. My career took me to the Syracuse,NY area last year and I miss everything you mentioned about Boston! All I see are SU and Yankees hats out here, enough to make you guys puke! Central New Yawkas drink Labatts Blue and think I'm from "England" cuz I call the drinking fountain a "bubblah" ... what a bunch of hicks or as you put it so perfectly....they are WHACKED!
From Some Masshole
- Finally, someone who undahstands!
From Tony.
- Just previewed your site on recommendation from a friend in Seattle...a non masshole! If I didn't know where my sons were I would swear they developed the site. One graduated from BC last year (baatender at Legal Seafoods in Chestnut Hill) and I have a senior left (he's been on a 30 year plan there...keeps taking sabbaticals to find himself-places like Aspen). Between the two of them and their sista (seenya at BU) I'm afraid they could write your "Baahhs" page.
Enjoyed your site...what there was of it! In fact there wasn't much to it. That's what made me think it was my sons. ;o)I pay $25,000+/year for a BC education and they teach them how to find all the good baahs and they spend another $25,000! There's no justice.
You have a germ of an idea here. Take on Boston.com and provide a site for all massholes to get the true skinny on Baastin. Don't let any "furinners" on the site-especially people from Nawth Dakota.-only Mass bred!
Good Luck
Masshole Dad
- Dunkin Donuts has wicked good iced cahfee.
From Adam.
- LOSE YOUR WAY TO MAINE YA FUCKED YOUR STATE UP ,LEAVE OURS THE F@#K ALONE VACATION IN NEW HAMPSHIRE.SPREAD THE "WERD" MASSHOLE!!!("MASSHOLE"Another thing you stole from the great state of Maine)
From Jeffrey.
- I live in Maine. I think you all should stay right theah in Massatwoshits and not come up heah and drive us folks to distraction with your wicked awful drivin and your gaummy accents. Discover Conn. not Maine!
From Trout.
- this is the baddest website in the world! I live in North Carolina and I get homesick every sunday when I can't get my hands on a globe anywhere.
I am going to print some of this stuff out and put it up in my office. I am an infantry platoon leader here in the 82nd Airborne, and every time I start talking to my men, they can't understand a word I say. I'm the only masshole in my company (that's 120 people).
But what I think we need is a Fort Bragg Chapter of Massholes. keep up the good work...and at night, when it's real quiet, you can probably hear me bitching about the sox all the way from north carolina
From Darin
- bucknah didnt blow the series, rich gedman did on that pass ball they called a wild pitch,,, the game was already tied when the ball went through bucknahs legs...hope was gone by then...i blame gedman
- S.O.S, S.O.S. I'm in Alabama. Send fellow holes immediately.
From Jim.
- This site is wicked pissa!
From about 500 visitahs