Masshole Newspaper Article

Two boys are playing hockey on a pond in Boston Common when one is attacked by a rabid Rottweiler. Thinking quickly, the other boy takes his stick, wedges it down the dog's collar and twists, breaking the dog's neck.

A reporter who was strolling by sees the incident, and rushes over to interview the boy. "Young Bruins Fan Saves Friend From Vicious Animal," he starts writing in his notebook.

"But I'm not a Bruins fan," the little hero replied.

"Sorry, since we are in Boston, I just assumed you were." Said the reporter and starts again. "Red Sox Fan Rescues Friend From Horrific Attack," he continued writing in his notebook.

"I'm not a Red Sox fan either," the boy said.

"I assumed everyone in Boston was either for the Bruins or Red Sox. What team do you root for?" the reporter asked.

"I'm a Yankees fan." The child said. The reporter starts a new sheet in his notebook and writes, "Little Bastard from New York Kills Beloved Family Pet."


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